Underworld: The Exit

It had been several months since the last… excitement. Winter had come and gone, and everything was peaceful in the Underworld. Well as peaceful as things could get. The paperwork, of course, was still the monster headache it had always been, but things had settled into a relatively happy pattern.
… Well, that's no fun, is it?  No, it's more than time to shake things up.
The next excitement began on a day pretty much just like any other. Paperwork was done in the morning, and there was a short break for lunch before paperwork was done in the afternoon. During that break, things seemed normal.
Hades groaned, stretched, and whined. Thanatos and Nemesis got up to eat lunch and Hecate got up to make lunch. As she stood up, she snapped her fingers and a small baby appeared cradled in her arms. Nemesis and Thanatos continued on with their lives as if nothing had happened, but Hades fell out of his big, shiny, impressive throne.
"What the HADES is that?!" he shouted, staring at the baby like it was the spawn of hell, which in retrospect really shouldn't worry him.
"What's what?" Hecate asked, turning back to look at him quizzically.
"That- that!" he shouted, pointing wildly at her.
"Oh, this?" Hecate smiled at the baby. "This is my daughter, Circe."
"Your WHAT?!?!!?"
"My daughter." Hecate returned calmly. "Please don't shout, you'll wake her up."
"B-b-b-but…!"
"What?" Hecate asked, now rather irritable. "Why are you so set against her?"
"You- I thought- somewhere-" Hades paused mid-splutter and took off running.
"Bye then." Hecate muttered. But she didn't have long to wait before he came charging back in.
"I found it!" Hades brandished a piece of paper in her face. "What do you think of that?!"
"It's my contract. Why are you waving it at me, my lord?"
"This! This right here!" Hades glared at her as he pointed to the particular sentence he wanted her to read.
"…virgin goddess*… Oh, yes. I'll have to change that," she muttered, passing her hand over the paper. "There you go."
Hades looked down at the paper in his hand, which now read 'NOT a virgin goddess' and then looked back up at the blank-faced goddess standing in front of him. "That's not better!" he said, his voice verging on a wail. "This is just disturbing!"
"So, who's the father?" Nemesis asked, coming to look at the child properly. Thanatos followed her obediently.
"Oh… that's…"
"Hecate, are you still here?" Hermes suddenly burst in through the main doors.
"Yes." Hecate said in an irritated tone of voice. "Obviously."
"And… Circe, how is she…?" the messenger god asked nervously.
"Fine." Hecate said. "Actually, I have to go make lunch, can you take her?"
"Er… but… I don't…"
"Take your daughter and keep out of my way." Hecate said between gritted teeth.
"Wait a minute."
"Uncle Hades? What's wrong?"
"That's LORD Hades! And this is my Kingdom!"
Hecate gave him a puzzled look. "That's right, it is. I had nearly forgotten. But… so what?"
"I don't want a child here." Hades said in a cold voice. "Anyone under ten years old is just a nuisance."
"Excuse me…?"
"You heard me."
"You don't want Circe here. Fine. But I'm going with her." Hecate waved her hand again and three large suitcases fell into the room out of nowhere, quickly followed by all of Hecate's clothes. "I'll be back in ten years."
"W-wait a-" Hades began, but it was too late. All three of them were gone.
"Smooth." Nemesis said.
Thanatos looked worried. "She can't leave! Nothing will get done!"
Hades stared at the spot where she had been standing. "What have I done…?" he asked, his voice shaking.
***
"What have I DONE?!" Hades shouted. "I am such an IDIOT!!!"  he paused, waiting for the quiet voice to tell him that his mistake was easily fixed, but it didn't come, because she was gone. He sat down on his bed, looking in despair at his favorite board game. "I don't know how to set it up. And I don't have a partner to play with now that she's gone…" he realized. He looked down at the Ultimate Twister Board lying mangled on the floor. "Why did you have to go…?"
***
"Mama!" An angelic little girl with a short halo of semi-curly black hair called as she stumbled across the floor. Her mother, a lovely young woman with long black hair and a patient smile scooped her up.
"Circe, darling I'm so proud!" she exclaimed, turning around to see her husband, an incredibly handsome man with curly sandy-blonde hair, smiling at the two of them. "Her first steps!" the woman said happily. The man could only nod.
***
"I suspect… Thanatos in the Lava Pits with the Bludgeon." Hades said in a bored tone.
"Nope. I was in the lava pits at the time." Nemesis said, sounding triumphant. "He wasn't."
"Can I accuse now…?" Thanatos asked, uncertain.
"Sure." Hades smiled. Clue wasn't his favorite game, and he was eager for it to be over.
"Then… I accuse Lord Hades, in the Throne room, with the Scepter of Despair." The death god finally said.
"What?" Nemesis and Hades chorused.
"Why would I kill her?" Hades whined. "She's my wife!" Persephone, sitting in the middle of the board being a "victim" sighed resignedly.
"Am I done?" she asked.
"Not yet." Nemesis shot her an annoyed look before turning back to Thanatos. "Hades-"
"LORD Hades."
"-is right. What's his motivation?"
For once, Hades and Persephone agreed on something- this game was stretching out too long. Hades stood up and offered his hand to his wife/niece, who gratefully took it, and the two swiftly left the room.
"So, where shall we go?" Hades asked.
Persephone immediately dropped his arm. "I don't love you!" she shouted, and strode away angrily."
"…I know."



*Actually, the official defenition of "Virgin goddess" just means "Unmarried goddess who hasn't done anything weird with Zeus yet" That's why only Artemis and Hecate count. Seriously. Zeus needs a new hobby. Anyway, despite this fact, we wated to torture Hades so...